bad.

bad week.  z has been sleeping like crap this week, waking up frequently so that i haven't gotten more than three hour bits at a time.  i can't have any bit of caffeine or chocolate, because it seems to magnify z's colicky behavior, so i just have to deal with the lack of sleep.  i'm grumpy.  i cry frequently.  i want to return him.  but there's nowhere to return him to.  i don't understand why he cries so much, and why it's happening NOW.  we finally went to see a new pediatrician on tuesday.  the doctor was fantastic, as was his office & staff.  unfortunately he didn't have much help to offer, other than to say that whatever it is is not harming him physically.  and he said it wasn't diet related, not dairy or wheat or something.  i'm still supposed to avoid (as i said above) caffeine, onions, etc.  it could be something related to his GERD, or perhaps teething, or who knows.  we have to carry him around a lot during the episodes.  or sometimes time playing in the mirror helps.  or listening to his mobile music & watching it (from our arms).  it's exhausting.  today it started at 1pm.  often it starts at 3pm.  i can't handle this lack of sleep forever.