goodbye 2008

Goodbye, 2008.  This has been a tough year for me.  Lots of challenges.  It brought me something very special - Z - but not without difficulties.  It's been a year of changes.  Perhaps it's telling that I've chosen to say goodbye to 2008 instead of hello to 2009.  I'm still mourning the loss of my life B.C. - before children - but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate what I've gained.  Every day I love my little bundle of joy more and more, as he grows into a responsive little being.  He's smiling a lot more these days (when he's not screaming bloody murder from gas pain), just beginning to try to "talk" to us.  His little grasp is growing stronger, and he's gaining head strength.  He's almost able to enjoy a bumbo chair (he lasts for about 5 minutes), except for the fact that he's almost too huge to fit in it.  However, he still has a ways to go in the sleep department.  He still has really fussy days.  Time passes really slowly for me, but at the same time, I hardly have time to get anything accomplished.  October 10th seems years and years and years ago.  

We celebrated New Year's Eve, sharing dinner with friends.  Good times.  Pomegranate seeds are really beautiful...  

Today was difficult.  Z was having a bad day.  I hope tomorrow is better, and hope 2009 brings great things, not just for our family, but for this nation, and the whole world.  

this says it all.

super sleeper, and then not...

this past week, we've started a night time routine with z, because he suddenly started sleeping in 5-6 hour chunks or longer.  sunday & monday night, he slept 10 hours in a row, but then broke his winning streak last night.  mommy was really distraught over this.  perhaps it was a delayed reaction to the two vaccinations he received on friday.  dunno.  i'd love it if it returned.  but i'm assuming it won't.  

we wrestled with the vaccination issue, and it's not so much the autism link as it is an issue of too much aluminum, and an assault on their immune system, doing so many at once.  so we've decided to space them out.  he received the DTaP & rotavirus vaccines on friday at his 2 month checkup.  he had a bit of a temperature friday night, and was a little fussy, but that's about it.  

he'll have two more vaccinations next month.  

z is starting to do new things.  last night he squealed & giggled, just as daddy got home from work.  he's able to push himself up more during tummy time, and is following toys & his mommy more with his eyes.  his grip is getting stronger, but he still isn't quite aware of his hands.  

i've been able to appreciate, finally, some very sweet moments with z.  i'm beginning to see how people can do this more than once.  possibly.  cuddling with a sweet, peaceful, warm baby can get addictive, especially on a cold winter night.  if only they were that way all the time!  

we're experiencing some winter weather at the moment.  not copious amounts of snow, but enough to make ice on the roads a problem.  i actually haven't been out of the house since sunday.  they don't clear the roads at all, unlike illinois, michigan, & ohio.  i'm needing some mommy time at the moment, but don't forsee any in the near future.   

2 months.

happy 2 month birthday, z!  it's about 5am.  i finished nursing z, and have been waiting to make sure he stayed asleep, while checking out photos.  j has been doing more of the photo uploading & posting, as i rarely have two hands free.  this picture made me laugh out loud.  it's worth double clicking & looking at up close.  z clearly wasn't so happy about his faux-hawk we gave him after his latest bath.  

so, he's two months today.  i'm still not getting enough sleep, and having regular mini break-downs.  it's fun.  oh well.  nobody said parenting was easy, and it's not quite as bad as i thought it would be.  z has his 2 month check-up on friday, where he'll get his first round of vaccinations.  i'm scared.  i haven't had time to do much reading up on vaccinations & the whole autism link.  my pediatrician friends say they believe in the traditional vaccination schedule, so i guess that's what we'll do.  i just hope it doesn't mess my baby up.  it will be interesting to see where he stands on the charts.  on monday, i weighed him with me on the scale, and with his diaper, he was 14.5 lbs.  he's definitely eating well.  if he could just work on the sleeping thing...

t-day holiday weekend...

too busy to post pics at the moment, but just to recap -

we spent thanksgiving at grandma & grandpa tigard's house, and g'ma & g'pa canby were in attendance, as was aunt m & her boyfriend j.  

on friday, my birthday, we drove to canby for nephew j's baptism.  we enjoyed a great lunch at g'ma & g'pa canby's house, and z met his cousin for the first time.  i spent the afternoon running a few errands, and enjoyed a dinner from burgerville - pepperbacon tillamook cheeseburger, sweet potato fries, and an ice cream cone, before getting to bed.  j & i are going out to dinner at a real restaurant sometime in the near future, when z is sleeping better, and we can really enjoy ourselves.  

on saturday, a couple old friends from the symphony came by for a baby play date.  

sunday, we spent the day getting small things done around the house, & helped g'ma & g'pa tigard out with some holiday chores.  

What goes through a baby's mind?

"MMmmmm...I like blueberry pancakes!"

"Why do they think I like these silly plastic things?" 

"Yes, Hello, I'm here for the job interview."

Family pictures

Here's a shot of 4 generations of the clan:    Z, J, grandpa D, and great-grandma.

And here's the family out at a wine & cheese night with friends:

More adventures of little Z-man

A couple weeks ago, Mommy got to go out and get a pedicure with a friend, bravely leaving Baby Z home alone with Daddy.  Fortunately, no disasters occurred.  Here's Z enjoying some tummy time:

And here's Z helping Daddy work on one of his work-from-home days:

turkey day

happy thanksgiving, everyone!  

it's midnight, and i just put a load of laundry in the washer.  gotta have more diaper covers - only a couple left.  i should be sleeping, but have been unable to, so j is sleeping instead, and i'm getting things done.  i've been too busy &/or tired to post lately.  we have lots of pictures, but they'll have to wait.  and the baby book... aieee.  too many things to stay on top of, with all this feeding every three hours.  well, i'm getting a little tired now, so with junior asleep & the laundry going, i'm off to bed again.  we'll see how long this lasts.

it took me 2.5 hours to get out of the house this morning and reach my destination with z by 11am.  tomorrow i have a doctor's appointment downtown at 8:40am.  not looking forward to getting up early enough to make that one!

yo.

happy 1 month birthday, z!

it's tough now, finding time to post.  adding pictures is now going to be mostly j's domain.  i just don't have the time or energy.  it's 5am right now, which is pretty much the only time i have two hands free to type.  i imagine my one handed typing skills will eventually get better, but for now, i'm too impatient.  z is one month old now.  he's still not sleeping great, but i think it might be getting better.  all i know is that i can certainly still use more sleep.  and i recovered from the cold z gave me, but now i feel like i'm coming down with another one.  hard to tell if it's a cold, or just a reaction from eating too much dairy products.  

i had my first outing with z yesterday, the first time all by myself.  i'm still a little slow with the car seat & stroller, but it'll get better with more practice.  i had a dentist's appointment (yay -no cavities), and then i went to a new mom's group at st. vincent (hospital).  the mom's group meets weekly- everyone sits in a circle with her baby & takes a turn talking about what went well/bad in the past week, getting/giving advice from/to others.  a nurse runs the group.  i learned that i need to swaddle z more when putting him down to sleep, and that i need to see a lactation consultant, as the breast feeding is still hurting, and it shouldn't.  half the moms said they had seen "doris," a consultant at st. vincent, who supposedly can work magic, so i'll be seeing her on thursday.  

today we have painters coming to paint some areas in the basement.  i hope they get the work done quickly, and hope it's not too smelly.  

off to nap before z wakes up again...

Z's first Halloween

It turns out that Z just wasn't in the mood to go out trick-or-treating Friday evening.   So, we didn't get to take him out to say hello to the neighbors, but we did at least get him into his costume long enough to take some pictures:  

...in case you couldn't tell, he was a bumble-bee.

Baby Pictures!!!

hey all - this i j posting again.  l was silly enough to give me her password and let me unleash havoc on her once-peaceful blogosphere.  but, today i'm going to show some restraint because i'm distracted by how cute our little boy is...

so, without further ado, here are some much-requested pictures.

z's first tummy-time experience:

"sleeping all day makes me sooooo tired":

milk-drunk in the moby wrap...

here's a shout-out to out crafty canadian friends!

a size comparison:  10 pounds on the left vs. 18 pounds on the right.

we're sicky-poo. :(

here's our little top banana, striking a pose today.  z is sick with a cold.  his nose is all stuffed up, sounding wretched whenever he breathes.  luckily he can still nurse well.  we did try suctioning his nose last night (early morning - i woke j up especially for the event), which helped just a little.  he's had a bit of a temperature, which we've been monitoring (and he HATES!).  it keeps fluctuating between 98-something and 100.3.  100.4 is when we're supposed to take him in to be seen, either to the dr's office or the ER (after hours).  z & i have been living in the guest bedroom lately, with the humidifier going.  i've been trying to take care of him most of the time, letting j sleep through the night (for the most part).  since z's been sick, he's been sleeping a bit more.  he might have picked the cold up at his 2 week dr's appointment on friday.  he's doing well - he weighed in at a healthy 10 pounds.

i'm sick, too - started feeling bad a half a day after z started showing symptoms, and today, j announced he feels sick, too.  our first shared family illness.  how fun.  it's miserable.  i already didn't feel so hot from the c-section, and now i have this pulling me down.  i've been trying to sleep when z sleeps, but this afternoon i just had too much to do.  z has been sleeping for the past few hours, and i know this night is going to be hell.  yay.

i did get to take a long shower today  - i finally removed the steri-strips that were on my incision.  i had permission to remove them as of last tuesday, but i was too scared - incisions & such make me very squeamish, so i didn't build up the courage until today.  i had another realization in the shower - i can now shave my left leg again with my right hand.  not too long ago, my belly was so big that i had to do the left leg with the left hand... little baby steps to getting back to normal size.  i haven't lost all of the weight - i still have a belly.   

one weird result of having had a c-section (i think) is that the last two fingers on my hands go numb while sleeping (for more than 10 min).  another friend of mine said this happened to her.  i have no idea how long it will last.  i'm still sore in random parts of my body - no bruises, but those spots sure feel bruised.  this recovery thing is not easy.  i wish i had my energy back.  i've had butter sitting on the counter for a few days, waiting for me to turn it into peanut butter cookies & apple crisp topping.  perhaps someday.  i took it out before i knew i was getting sick...  at least i managed to get some laundry done.  i haven't done any laundry (except for diaper wipes & covers) since before the c-section, which wasn't a huge deal, as i've been living in a robe & pajamas, for the most part.  however, it'll be nice to have clean long sleeved t-shirts for those few times when i have to go out in public.  i just wonder how long it'll take me to put the clothes away.  

we've finally let the cats into the guest room.  before, we'd always keep the door shut, trying to keep one part of the house cat-free.  it now seems unnecessary, or at least too much of a pain to continue.  the room was getting way too moist with the humidifier running, and i was worried about mold growing, so it's now newfound territory for the cats.  they're excited about it.  

z's first bath

z's cord stump fell off on thursday, so we were able to give him a real bath.  we were bad parents and didn't even sponge bathe him, since his very first one in the hospital, so he really needed it.  we tried out our big plastic infant bathing tub on sunday afternoon, when we got up the courage.  he didn't LOVE the bath, but didn't scream the whole time.  here's a during-bath picture, and after bath picture.  i'm not a big fan of the part (in his hair) j gave him - makes him look way too clean cut...

j's way of feeding z - "finger" feeding, up until now.  we've tried a bottle, now that breast feeding is fairly well established, and he takes it pretty well.  he spits up a lot more, as he eats faster, but it's much more convenient to not have to refill the syringe every 20 ml.

unhappy

mom & dad - how could you possibly put me in this prison????!

OUT!!!

he is OUT!  taking a nap on mommy.  even when napping, he's looking for the boob...

bliss

blissed out in the bassinet...

our cute little z wearing a shirt that used to be j's.  it doesn't completely fit him - looks more like a cropped top - not a good style for a little boy with a huge belly!

facial expressions.

this one is "where's the boob?".  he's a guy of simple pleasures.  

favorite expressions.

one of z's favorite looks - this one is "serious pooping."

some of our friends got crafty the weekend our little bundle of joy was born.  here's one of the products...

z's quilt

here are some pics of a beautiful quilt made by grandma canby.  

edema

one of the yucky side effects of having a c-section (or probably any abdominal surgery) is enduring edema, or swollen feet & arms. it feels like i get bigger every day. the edema can last for one to two weeks. even my slippers are starting to feel tight.

smart hubby.

since i had a c-section, it's difficult getting up from lying flat on my back. half the time, it's even painful getting up from a sitting position. luckily, i have a smart hubby who owns a lot of climbing rope & other climbing accessories. he had fun this morning rigging up a rope ladder for me to use to climb out of bed. he also rigged up another rope connected to the cradle as a sort of "remote" rocker. i'm pretty excited about being able to get out of bed tonight by myself!

Expressionism

Hi all - this is J making a guest appearance on the blog to post some pictures of our new boy.
These are just a small sampling of the cornucopia of great facial expressions that we get from Z every day.

meet zane anthony!

so, this has been a very busy last few weeks. three weeks ago, i was measuring 40 cm in fundal height at my midwife appointment, and it was week 36, so the fundal height should've been 36 cm. the midwife recommended that i get an ultrasound to check on the size of the baby. i was hesitant to get one at first, because ultrasounds that late in the pregnancy tend to be really inaccurate. however, i changed my mind. so, at 37 weeks, the ultrasound showed that Junior was 8lbs, 14 oz. it also showed a huge torso/shoulder area, which is common in gestational diabetes babies. this can cause shoulder dystocia in labor - where the shoulders get stuck in delivery. sometimes it causes permanent paralysis. at that point, the midwife & perinatologist told me to just wait to go into labor, but if i hadn't delivered by my due date and an ultrasound showed his weight to be 5000g or above, they'd recommend a planned c-section. they also both told me to go back to testing the blood sugar levels 4 times a day. i had to start going to fetal monitoring twice a week, for a fetal non-stress test & amniotic fluid ultrasound. in addition to that, they recommended that i try acupuncture to induce labor. all of those appointments added up to a lot of time, creating conflicts with my teaching, so as of sept 30th, i stopped teaching. i was getting really tired, and just didn't have the energy to do anything more than go to appointments and deal with the information. at my 38 week appointment, the midwife decided my case was too complicated for them to deal with, and handed me off to the obgyn department. she also started me on glyburide, a sort of insulin in pill form. last wednesday, we met with the doctor for the first time (whom m, j's sister, knew very well from her ob rotation last month - she came highly recommended). the doctor gave us two options to consider, and she'd call us in the evening to find out our choice. the two options were to try natural labor, with the slight consequence of shoulder dystocia, and the huge likelihood that labor would not progress & i'd end up with an emergency c-section; OR to just have a planned c-section. after agonizing over both options & consulting with lots of friends, we decided to go for the section. we scheduled it for two days later. i was really really scared & upset about having to go through a c-section, but i got through it with the help of my wonderful hubby & our doula. the operation went perfectly. i can't belive we're parents! zane anthony was born on oct 10th, at 10:34am. he was 21 inches, and weighed 9 pounds, 13.2 ounces. it was a bit of a relief that he weighed so much, and the c-section WAS the correct decision. zane is very healthy & robust, and has a lot of strength. he has too much strength, actually. breastfeeding hasn't worked too well yet, but we're working on it. his suck is like a 3 month old baby, but his technique is that of a newborn's. it was really painful to try, and he damaged me a bit, so for now, i'm pumping, and then j or i finger feed him. i'm producing more & more each time i pump, and i'm starting to get ahead of him already. zane is a perfect baby! so beautiful. i look forward to being able to move about more easily. and it's really nice being able to eat normal food now. due to the narcotics i'm on, i don't quite have my normal appetite back, but it's getting better.

9th month

my due date is oct 18, so i now have one month left. well, as it's week 36, four to six weeks left, and i'm counting on six weeks until d-day. starting on monday, i'll have weekly midwife appointments. sleeping has been really rough. i went to bed last night around 12:45am, and just couldn't sleep any longer past 6:15. i got up, surfed online a bit, and then went swimming. it was the second time this week... i went on tuesday for the first time since may. being in the water felt good, but i felt a little like a tugboat with my huge belly. coming OUT of the water was not fun at all. that's when i suddenly noticed the difference between my belly semi-floating in the water, giving my abdominal muscles a rest, and having to support the whole extra 20 pounds. i wish i could be that weightless all the time.
i'm still working on the teaching project, but it should be done sooner than i had though, as i discovered the efficiency of copy/paste options. other projects i need to do include putting wedding photos - the ones taken with the little cameras on the tables - into an album, and cooking a bunch of meals to be frozen. we have our last childbirth class this weekend at ohsu - childbirth a-z. it's 10-3 tomorrow, & 12-5 on sunday. pretty intense. we're feeling pretty ready at this point, and i'm definitely ready to eat carbs again! here are some pics of some kind, thoughtful gifts from some of my students...

dad's birthday

on saturday night, we celebrated my dad's birthday. he actually had his birthday while in italy, so this was a belated celebration. i got to cheat on the diabetic diet, and enjoyed the strawberry birthday cake.