z's behavior is marginally better, so i chalk it up to the steroids that were making him incredibly bad. however, he's still acting out. throwing hammers at the window, dumping water out of glasses, throwing books (once in the toilet), etc. i'm exhausted from dealing with it, from trying to give him special time with just me, from ignoring the small bad behavior when he's just trying to get a rise out of us. i'm tired of sore breasts from breast feeding and pumping. i'm tired of them waking me up when i need to feed or pump again. i'm tired of getting less than three hours of sleep in one stretch. i'm tired of a baby that spits up incessantly and doesn't sleep when i have the time and ability to sleep. the zantac is doing nothing for her. and we're out of cloth diapers already, which work the best for all the spit up. lots of tears today. now i have a killer headache.