here's a pic from s's first bath.

i've been too busy to blog lately - don't often have two hands free to type.
what have we been up to? two weekends ago we had lots of visitors (m, r, & c) who brought us food, and two (d & j) made us brunch two sundays ago! what a treat. last weekend brought a couple more visitors (a & k), and j & i went wine tasting on sunday. we visited archery summit, bergstrom (our first time), and argyle. i definitely felt the wine - a little too much, and perhaps not the way to usher in j's first full days at work. my friend s came over monday & brought lots of food, which helped, and friend v brought food mon evening. we had play dates tues & wed afternoons, but man... life has been hard. s's reflux is really bad.
i had a lactation appointment on tuesday - my 4th - because s will just not latch well. she keeps destroying my nipples, so i end up having to take a break and pump/bottle feed, which takes so much more time, leaving me with less sleep. doris determined her bad latch is due to her reflux - she feels the food coming up, so she clamps down to try to keep it down (or something like that - i don't quite understand the particulars). doris called s's pediatrician to get us in to be seen right away in order to get her meds adjusted. dr. thomas was reluctant to change anything until i broke down in tears - it's been absolutely exhausting pumping, feeding, bottle feeding, and managing z. he suggested more frequent feedings, but that's impossible while watching a 3 year old & a 1 month old. he finally agreed to let us do the prilosec 2 times a day, along with the zantac 2 times a day. this way she has something approximately every 6 hours. the doctor suggested we put z in preschool full time as a way to help manage his behavior and give me more of a break, which i think is ridiculous. that wouldn't help the behavior, but just postpone it. z is a delicate kid... putting him in full time preschool would make this transition even harder for him. the doctor did not agree with doris, that her latch is due to her reflux. i am more inclined to believe doris. i'm thinking of switching pediatricians, or perhaps taking her to a pediatric gastroenterologist. not quite sure what to do, but the current situation is not sustainable because i'm losing my sanity. she feeds, spits up, then feeds again, then spits up, then feeds again, repeated ad nauseum with pooping thrown in. she is managing to gain weight well because of our hard work with the continuous feeding. both doris and dr. thomas said i'm welcome to try formula, and dr. thomas even sent me home with two sample containers, if it becomes even more difficult to produce enough breast milk (since she spits so much of it up & then just wants more). i don't want to go that route, though, because formula is not digested as easily as breast milk, and i'd think it would hurt her even more to spit up formula.
i am hoping the increased dosages will help decrease the spitting up, solving the supply issue & improving her latch, so that i don't have to pump so much.
on top of all of that, z has been complaining of a sore tummy this morning. i cannot take one more thing!!!!!!